A day to myself

I took a day off today and called in sick, the first time I have called in sick since working for the company I work with now. I am still a lil frustrated with them, and I didnt want to go to work with a major attitude. I needed today to cool off and collect my thoughts and get some more stuff done with my packing. i feel bad calling in sick, but I need to focus on myself right now. I only have a few more days at this job anyways. But I took today to sleep in and when I woke up, Ive been online looking up stuff and about to start packing some more but just wanted to post something even though its not relating to art or fashion. Just in a funk and felt like writing. Well, short post today, will write more later.


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Frustrated with my Job

Do you guys ever have get so sick and frustrated with your job you just want to walk out? Like the phones are ringing off the hook, you got customers yelling at you and your paychecks arent on time and everything seems to be just going downhill. I had to keep my head because I cant afford to lose my job. I only have a week left at my job but I need every penny I can afford and I dont want to ever burn bridges. Do you ever feel stuck? I feel like that now. I have a week and a half left here and I have so much to do and I feel like I am not gonna have enough time. I am so tempted to just walk away now because I need time to finish up packing and some projects I need to complete, and I just dont have time and when I get home from work, I am exhausted. But the sensible side of me is that I definetly need my last paycheck because who knows how long it will take before I can find a job when I move. When I get like this, I just remind myself that this all is temporary and this pushes me to work harder in accomplishing my dreams of owning my own business. If my current job has taught me anything, its how NOT to run a business. Soon, I will only work for myself and do something I absolutely love, which is designing clothes and creating art that helps to inspire others. I just had to ventthis out for a minute or two..but for now, back to my projects. Bye!



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Rain and Thunder

I just made it home right before the rain really started to come down. I just got off work and headed home when it first started to rain. It had me thinking about how I love the rain. Right now, it really doesnt rain too much in Colorado, but I am heading back to Virginia in just a few short weeks and when I was walking in the rain, I felt a release of emotions and feelings like the rain just washed away all the tension and all the stress that my body has built up in the past few years. All my hard work to go home is finally paying off along with all my patience. I never thought the time would come, but everything worked out. I have so much to be thankful for, my family, my friends that stood by my side and my children. Motivation kept me going. The road Ive traveled has been long and bumpy but it was worth it. Being able to go home and be with the people I love is worth going to hell at back. I cant wait, I have so many plans when I get home. I am definetely going to focus on my art more. Im getting all my supplies back up and gonna start designing. I am saving up for my airbrush kit so I can practice my mad skills. hahaha!

well, I dont wanna ramble right now, I just wanted to write for a few minutes and send this out to the universe! Hope you have a good day!



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New Beginings Fresh Start

I have moved a total of 33 times in my life. I am only 26, a lil nuts huh?? I grew up in a military family and was used to the life of moving and packing boxes and tape. Always the new girl and kept to myself alot. When I was younger, I dont know if I hated it or liked it, I just used to go with it. I like to think of myself as a shy kid, but everyone tells me different. Looking back, it was an advantage I had to pick up and move to a new place. I could start over each time, change something I didnt like. Always being the new girl gave me the courage to make new friends and experience different areas. In terms of art and fashion, moving around gave me the opportunity to see trends and art in other cities. I loved it. Every new school I went to I took and art class, and a sewing class. By the time I was a teenager I was really good at sewing and sketching. My mother pushed me into going to a technical school for fashion design when I was 16.

It was funny, i was stubborn and didnt want to go, being a typical teenager I guess. I went to the open house and was there for like 15 minutes and left, I didnt want to go. I ended up going anyways and it was the best time of my life. 2 years I spent with a group of girls in a fashion design program. I loved it.

I never realized it, but growing up, I never saw myself as an artist. My family knew different. I shouldve realized that I would one day be an artist. I mean, cmon, at 9 years old, I had a drafting desk. And every birthday and holiday while some kids got toys for presents, I got new art supplies and loved it.

I was soooooo focused on my art back then and now as an adult, I look back and I never had a chance to really focus on my art. Life got in the way. The past year I have slowly been trying to get back into fashion and Ive come along way. And the reason I write today is that its time for me to move again and I am going back home and I plan on really being on it. I am gonna go back to school at the Art Institute and take hold of what I really want to do. I want to start my own clothing line and do custom art on bikes and cars and clothing and just talking about it gets me all excited and anxious to get home.

I am totally random in my thoughts today, but wanted to write. so who ever is reading this hpe it made some sort of sense!





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Love is All You Need

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. Time has been flying! Alot has been happening and some of it is good, other bad and alot in between. I cant believe its already the end of May! How crazy is that? I gotta say Ive been slacking a lil in the art department. I was able to finish a few pieces for a few friends of mine that got tattooed and I myself started my side pieces(see the pic above) So, maybe in a way I havent been slacking, but it feels like it. I entered an art contest just a line drawing, so I am interested to see the outcome in that. I also made a video for my parents who just got remarried a few days ago. Man, I guess when I look back on what I have accomplished this month, I realize I have done alot.

So, what I want to say for those who feel like they procrastinate or just cant seem to get started in a project or a goal, just do it. What helps me is that I write a list of all my goals and things I need to do. I try to take each one and work on it until finished. One day at a time...is one of my favorite quotes. And then all of a sudden, you start crossing things off your list. There's no excuse why you cant do something. IF it seems impossible to you, let that be a challenge to you. Like, with my art, people ask me if I can draw certain things or make a certain design, I take that as a challenge and it pushes me. So when I complete something that I am so passionate about and other people love it, it is so rewarding for me. That pushes me harder to expand my skills and broaden my horizons.

Well, thats enough for today! I am exhausted and I hope you all have a good week!

I have an amazing mother. I have so much love and respect for my mom. She is my best friend, my mentor, without her, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today. She has supported me through everything, and I get my strength from her. What I have learned from her, I apply to my life everyday. I just hope I can be a good mother the way she has been for me.

I have 2 children that are blossoming beautifully with each passing moment. I served 4 years in the US Army, and its funny, I like to tell this story all the time about how even my children are soldiers. Before I was deployed to Afghanistan, I was pregnant and didn't find out until I was 4 weeks into the deployment. I thought i was late because of the stress from deploying, or all those shots and vaccines they gave me, I thought my morning sickness was from the Malaria Pills combined with the excruciating heat, but I knew something wasn't right. I found out I was pregnant and I was sent back home to New York. She is my lil soldier. She is so independent and strong, just like all the women in my family. I love her so much. I gave birth to her and was then sent to Iraq only 4 months after she was born. It was so hard to leave her but I had to. We, as mothers, have to sacrifice ourselves and our dreams and our goals to help support our loved ones and children. I had pictures of her everywhere posted in my trail or in Iraq.

When I came home for Christmas for R&R after 7 months of being deployed, she barely recognized me and it almost broke my heart. I was afraid the bond was broken. But after an hour, she remembered me. I remember laying with her and stroking her face and hair, threes just no other feeling that can top that. During my 2 week stay, I ended up becoming pregnant again, but of course like my first pregnancy, I didn't find out until I went back to Iraq. I learned I was pregnant, I didn't even realize I was late. There's so much stress being in the Army and being deployed, I thought that's what it was. I didn't get sent home right away, so I was there a good month after learning I was Pregnant waiting to go home. I had to stay because of the first Iraqi Elections were taking place and no one was flying anywhere. So, my son was with me then too. It was after my experiences being deployed that I decided to get out of the service so that I could be there for my children. But I like to joke around that not only am I a combat war veteran, but so are my children.

I cant wait for my children to be a lil bit older so I can share that with them. They are still very young. I am not with them right now, they are with their father- and we get along great, I'm just taking care of somethings, but I haven't seen them in almost 2 years. So, this mother's day was a lil hard for me. I spent alot of time away from them and it's hard. I get scared that they will forget me, but I know when the time comes to see them again, all those doubts will be gone. That future moment stays in my mind, helps to motivate me to live right and do what I can to get back to them. For those mothers who cant be there for their children for whatever reason....just remember you are their mother, no one can replace you and no matter what the distance or amount of time you spend away, they will always remember you. Love conquers all.

So, that's a lil bit about my story and just wanted to share this with you all. Happy Mother's Day to everyone!



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New to Blogger

Hi all you bloggers, I started this blog after I started following Kandee the Make-Up Artist and thought it was a great idea. She inspired me to start a blog and pursue my dreams of designing. Since I was a kid, I was always drawing and sketching, selling my lil drawings during recess in elementary school...I never considered myself an artist until, I would say the past 2 years. It was always a hobby type of thing, even though I went to a vocational school for Fashion Design and have attended colleges for fashion and have taken countless art classes. I guess I wasn't confident in myself or my abilities as an artist and designer to officially say " I'm an artist".

The past few years has been a rollar coaster for me, Im still young but have gone through things most people my age and older would never dream of, but through all that, like most of us, I lost myself along the way. Looking back, I have found that the times when I was happy the most was when I was drawing, or designing or sewing something or attending college for fashion. I would go through these stages when I wouldnt pick up a pencil for months and then out of the blue when I let myself drift into my own world, I would fill a whole sketchbook in a week. But then life would kick in and the sketchbook went into a box and my dreams were pushed away further and further. I noticed I had a pattern and most of us can relate to this, when we get involved in a relationship, our focus changes and sometimes even when we dont notice it, we slowly change ourselves to make our partner happy. I had an awful pattern of this until my marriage ended and I had to rediscover who I was and what I wanted out of life.

Life likes to throw us curveballs, even if we stike out, we keep trying to hit that ball, and the important thing is trying. A couple years ago, I finally had enough courage to say, "hey, I am an artist and I want to design clothes and create art that people will enjoy". So, here's another step closer for me to creating my future and taking a step into the unknown.

My name is Siren, and I am a fashion designer, airbrush artist and soon to be a tattoo artist. What I want to do is design clothes that express my style and my love for art. I liek to create looks that are bright, outgoing and not too extreme but enough to draw attention in a good way. I am also very into motorcycles and muscle cars. I worked in an airbrush shop for a while and it really sparked my imagination on all the things I could do. I would like to do custom motorcycle clothing and customize peoples motorcycles and possibly cars. I have very big ambitions. I recently became more fascinated with tattoos, and many people including my mother has recommended I be a tattoo artist. Nothing is more fullfilling than having someone have a tattoo of your artwork on their body forever. It's one of the biggest compliments ever.

well, for my first blog I think I have rambled on enough. As I explore this new site, Ill be posting more each week. Thanks for reading!